CATALYST: A Memoir
In the winter of 2012, standing at the edge of an unexpected threshold, I looked around and realized I was utterly lost. I didn't know how I arrived where I was, nor even who I was.
​This story represents the year it took for me to recognize the opportunity that lay before me ~ to embark on the incredible journey of regathering, realigning, and embodying myself.
​I invite readers to walk with me as I share an unfiltered glimpse of the turbulence and insights I discovered on my way to turning inward.
Excerpt from Catalyst
The path looks strange,
Here,
In the middle of the night.
I frantically search for a familiar mark,
And,
As I slowly gain focus on myself,
I, too, look strange.
Not at all who I thought I was,
Nor,
I think,
Who I tried to be.
This is not the path I envisioned.
Yet, without meaning to, patterns emerge,
And habits.
And then, not wanting a thing to happen,
Not wanting to lay heavy in a hospital bed for the second time in as many months, on the coattails of nine months of testing and false diagnoses...stomach churning and an undercurrent of guilt lurking in the back of my mind...
Not wanting this to be the path I am on,
Without meaning to,
I led myself here.
​
It is late in the night or early morning. Hushed conversations rustle through the softly lit corridor; bustling daytime noise long since passed. From a deep sleep I am stirred awake by the sudden absence of sound in my room. The swishing blood circulation pumps wrapped around my legs have stopped again. I call to my nurse.
​
"This is the fourth time tonight that we’ve had to replace these pumps.” Nurse Donovan towers over me with a gentle smile. “Are you trying to break all the equipment in the hospital?”
​
Muddied thoughts obscure my mind and I cannot remember the other three times. With a rapidly drifting focus I smile weakly and shift my head an inch.
​
"I’ve gotta go hunt around the rest of the hospital for one. You’ve gone through all the ones on this floor.” He taps the bed railing and smiles before turning to leave.
​
As Nurse Donovan straps the new pump on my legs, I open my eyes groggily. The single image of a candle flame flickers and fades in my mind – opiates.
​
“Okay, hopefully this will last until morning. Once you can stand and walk again, we won’t need to force the circulation with these. See if you can get some rest.”
​
“Can you turn up the heat? I’m so cold.” The words ride out on an exhale.
​
“Sure.” And he does before returning to his station in the hallway.
REVIEWS FOR CATALYST
"Eloquence of writing. Intimacy of narrative voice. Depth of message. For me, these things elevate a good book to a great book. Leah Caron’s CATALYST is a great book."
- M.C. Smith
"In her book Catalyst, Leah takes us on a moving journey of her experience with getting diagnosed with a rare cancer and her emergence into a new life of coping with and moving past her diagnosis. As she recounts the details of her treatments, it gives readers a raw look at the pain and heartache of managing a difficult health crisis. But Leah’s words are also infused with humor and self-discovery – ultimately revealing a sense of hope. As Leah brings us into her personal world, one feels blessed that she is willing to share her story about deeply celebrating what it means to be alive."
- Molly Mowery
"As a writer and heavy reader, I was happily plunged into beautiful prose and poetry.
Leah's personal experience is relatable beyond cancer and its healing -- we have all faced challenges that have daunted, stymied, and baffled us and her honest, searing account of an exceptional passage is illuminating, encouraging, and inspiring for those not suffering from cancer and its particular path."
- Louise Foerster
"I find that the author has allowed herself to be her own patient advocate and researcher as she delivers a detailed physical, mental, and spiritual connection to what it is like to go through a rare cancer, traditional cancer treatment, and so much more! The "so much more" involves her ability to go through a transformation and a new state of being. You will applaud her courage!"
- JM
"Catalyst has a deep enriching thread throughout that stays with you. It’s enlightening on so many levels. I found myself drawn to the author’s voice and to her inner struggle. I reread passages for greater clarity, because they were that deep. The book is not for light entertainment. It is for an awakening of the mind and spirit. The heavy subject matter does not weigh you down – just the opposite – it lifts you up.
​
Caron’s refreshing perspective and clear, empowering voice takes you on a journey through what can only be described as a terrifying experience made meaningful and transformative. I would recommend this book for anyone anywhere who is seeking light through their darkness, joy through their pain, and peace through their turmoil. Caron’s profound words and revolutionary thinking cannot help but change you in ways you will fully appreciate. If you want a way past the struggles suffocating you, and would relish a better, more meaningful and optimistic tomorrow, then this read is one you won’t regret!"
- Kathryn Mattingly
"Leah is my wonderful Nextdoor neighbor. When she said she was writing about her experience with cancer, I made a mundane comment about it being really good therapy for her, and she agreed. When I got the book, I was anxious to read it because I expected a kind of diary-like writing, which would be slow and sluggish reading. However, I got into the first few chapters and it read well, even though I did not understand the pieces with poetry. As I got further into the story, at times forgetting that it was Leah I was reading about, a good narrative flowed. Even the inner thoughts expressed before each chapter became good reading. It was really a pleasant read that I could not put down, even though it was about cancer, which is normally hard to read and talk about."
- Randy Dickenson
"I approached my initial read of this memoir without distraction and fully rested to walk this journey with the author. The meditations are profound... questioning and reflecting, then settling... and moving from doubt to strength. At times the words shout out, even if they are whispered.
They capture the rawness of pain, strength, and resiliency.
​
Leah is a weaver of stories with the rootedness of trees."
- Seeded
"From the first page, Catalyst grabs hold of you—and by the end, it doesn’t let go. Leah Caron has crafted a novel that pulses with urgency, heart, and a raw honesty that lingers long after the final chapter is closed.
Caron’s Strength with Character
One of the book’s greatest successes is its character. The protagonist’s struggles feel deeply human—her fears, her doubts, the way hope flickers even when everything seems stacked against her. Caron allows you to see her at her strongest and her weakest; there is no gloss, no denying the messiness of life. Secondary characters are equally well-realized—each with their own flaws, voices, and arcs. They aren’t merely props to the plot, but people you care about, root for, and sometimes even ache for.
Rich, Layered Themes
What makes Catalyst more than just a thrilling story is how it weaves thoughtful themes through its narrative. It’s a book about transformation—personal, social, emotional. It digs into how moments of crisis force us to decide who we are (or want to be), and what we will fight for. There’s ethical weight here without ever feeling preachy; tension between survival, sacrifice, and identity that gives the stakes real heft.
World-Building & Atmosphere
Caron’s setting (whether the world is speculative, dystopian, or something uniquely her own) is immersive. The details—small and large—build a credible universe: its dangers, its rules, its scars. I found myself completely absorbed in the environment, feeling the pressure of every corner where things can go sideways. The mood carries you through darkness and light alike, with moments of beauty that feel earned.
Pacing, Plot & Emotional Resonance
The pacing is superb. Just when you think things have settled, Caron pulls another thread, and the tension ratchets up. Plot twists aren’t always predictable, and that sense of not knowing—of being on the edge—makes the reading experience all the more magnetic. But it’s not just action and suspense; the emotional undercurrent is powerful. The book doesn’t shy away from pain or loss, yet it also embraces the hope that comes through resilience, solidarity, courage.
Why This One Matters
In a crowded field, Catalyst stands out. It’s not only because Caron tells a great story, but because she asks the “so what?” questions and honors the answers. What happens when the systems fail us? What happens when we discover that the person we thought we were is perhaps only half of who we could be? What is worth fighting for—and what do we owe each other? These are not easy questions, but Caron shows they are worth asking.
​
If you’re looking for a novel that delivers both on tension and heart, that leaves you pondering your own convictions even as it entertains, Catalyst is a must-read. Caron has written something with real power—and I can’t wait to see what she does next."
- Sports4TJ